Being a mum is without doubt one of the hardest jobs, and in this age of the “have it all woman” the pressure and drive for perfection is crazy.
You’ve got to raise kids (a full time job on it’s own), pursue a career, be an organisational guru, take care of household chores, answer to your all-knowing FitBit, maintain a healthy and passionate relationship, stay connected on Facebook and on and on.
Is it any wonder we have growing rates of anxiety and depression?
But what would it be like if we cut ourselves some slack sometimes?
If you haven’t seen them, the “Bad Moms” movies are funny and irreverent and also contain some important truths for today’s busy mums:
#1 Make Friends with Average
There’s simply just not enough hours in the week to do everything – let alone doing everything perfectly. Dropping your standards and aiming for average takes the pressure off, meaning that you get more done in less time and you might even have some time left over for something fun.
Your kids will also learn from you that they don’t have to be perfect to be happy or measure up and that’s the best mindset you can share with them for cultivating happiness.
#2 Stop always Putting Everyone Else First
While being a mum does mean that you have to be the caregiver a lot of the time, it’s really important for you to have some “sanity breaks” in your schedule. It’s OK for kids to be bored sometimes while you do things for you. Whether that’s taking the kids to a cafe you enjoy and catching up with a friend, allowing yourself some extra time for a relaxing shower and delegating more responsibilities to the kids in the morning etc. – claim some time for yourself and the things that make you happy.
Aim for win wins with activities – making your wants and needs part of the decision making process can boost your happiness and well-being and the kids and your partner benefit from your more relaxed state of mind too.
# 3 Ease up on yourself
Take some regular moments during the week to consciously be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you are an imperfect human who makes mistakes just like the rest of us – and that’s OK. You’re doing your best as a mum. It’s a super hard thing to do and there’s often no right or wrong answer.
#4 Treat yourself!
Treat yourself to that massage, take a lovely candle lit bath, make yourself your favourite meal. Remember you’re special and you deserve these things that make you glow.
#5 Playtime & Passion
Talking about bills, the kids, planning, work etc is a serious passion killer. When we’re first dating we go all out – going on dates, doing new things and being playful. Play time feeds our hearts and souls – giving us more energy and happiness.
You need to make time in your schedule for dates with your partner and playfulness – no matter how long you’ve been together. Twice a month at least, no less! And leave the kids behind.
Do something new, something adventurous. Leave the boring and stressful conversations about the kids and work at home. This is time to invest in your relationship and keeping it alive. Touch each other, hold each other. Kiss like it’s your second date…. you might be surprised at the results!
Learn something new together – a language, a course, a skill etc. My partner and I have joined our local board games library and it’s so much fun! We get to compete, learn together, collaborate, strategise & play. It gets us talking about new things and brings that sense of fun and play into our lives.
After reading this list I hope you’ll feel a bit inspired to be “healthily selfish” so you can bring more joy, playfulness, peace and calm to your life and your parenting! x